"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
