It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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