I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
