Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize