I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you still have your period?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
