i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
