you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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