I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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