my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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