I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
why is half of my head shaved?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
