i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So much rum. So many feels.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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