The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
