She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
