Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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