I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
