She tied me up with her honor cords...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize