No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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