I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize