dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
