so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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