great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
