Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
