I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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