real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
