Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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