don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
