Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
