My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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