He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
