is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You were trust falling into bushes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
