You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
