Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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