Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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