I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
