a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize