I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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