just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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