Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize