Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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