Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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