So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
