I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Those nachos came to me in a dream
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
