i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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