Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
