Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
