it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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