omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
zippers are such a cool invention
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
