trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize