she looked like the before picture.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
