Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
