he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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