so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
